Okay, so I'm a Christian, not a Buddhist, so karma really isn't in my vocab, but in this case, it works. I like to call it love, support, community, friends, connection. The week following my diagnosis reveal, we called family and friends for support and prayer. I wasn't ready for social media. That makes me "news" and this wasn't news. It's my life. And I was scared. I needed time to let it soak in, to feel God's hand on my shoulder, to feel comfortable talking about what was happening without crying. I knew that I would receive nothing but positive vibes, love, more prayer and support when I decided to "let the world know" as I call it now, which I knew I would need. I'll be honest. I am that girl. I have grown to love, then dislike, then love again, what social media creates. Sometimes it's showy, braggy, too revealing. But sometimes it's the opposite. It's reality. It's pain, it's asking for help, it's sharing what's going on in our lives so that we have an extended hand of community. And for that I am grateful. Two days ago I posted my blog on Facebook. Today I am in awe at the encouragement and support that I feel. It's actually a little overwhelming. That can't be bad. Jack put it this way "Babe, you give out an incredible amount of love to the world. You now need a little back. It all comes back around." The constant stream of text messages and phone calls, the flowers, the cards, the meals, the caramel macchiato's, the late night convos, the hand holding, the wiping of tears and the tender "I love you's." Thank you, friends. I love you too. And I do need you. We all need each other through this crazy lovely journey around the sun.
Onto the update: During that week a lot of people were praying for me as I stepped into a new doctors office or lab almost every day, sometimes two in one day. Consulted with Dr. K to have surgery on Friday, September 4th. Had my first appointment with Dr. L, my oncologist (that was brutal...walking into Western Washington Oncology through a waiting room full of old people. I'm rare at an office like this). Spent time with good friends (S&C) who dig deep, know me well and are making sure that I'm taken care of and emotionally stable. Jack and I are eternally grateful for them and feel like we'd be missing out without them in our lives. Our kids are amazing. Keegan and Hannah rise and fall with grit and grace. They are strong and supportive, taking care of themselves and serving me in any way possible. They are also weak. Sobbing in confusion and frustration. Is their mom going to be okay? They can't imagine me sick...down for 6 months. "You're our rock, mom. This isn't fair!!" We love on each other every day. We take care of each other.
So, cheers to an incredible support system, friends whose hearts are bigger than the sun, a family who gives endless love and adoration to their mama/wifey, and believe it or not, to social media. Because I can't possibly reach all of you individually to ask for prayer. And flowers. And maybe food.
xoxo,
A
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